#13 I’m sorry

Von einer Nutzerin von da-sein.de – mit ihrer Genehmigung veröffentlicht

I’m sorry, that I wasn’t there earlier. I’m sorry that I left you. Over and over again. Es tut mir Leid, dass du dich gefürchtet hast. Es tut mir Leid, that you were in pain. I’m sorry that I broke your heart. I’m sorry that I can’t love myself the way you did. I’m sorry that I can’t love myself the way I’m supposed to. I’m sorry that I don’t love myself. I’m sorry that I didn’t cherish what you had to give. I’m sorry that I didn’t see the world as you did. I’m sorry that I didn’t take you seriously. I’m sory that you felt alone in this world. I’m sorry that you felt lonely. I’m sorry that you were in pain. I’m sorry that I came too late. I’m sorry that you had to die alone. I’m sorry that you were scared. I hope you felt loved. I can’t ask you to forgive me because I can’t forgive myself and I can’t. I’m sorry for wishing myself punished. I’m sorry for not caring anymore. I’m sorry for giving up too soon. I’m sorry for never really fighting. I’m sorry that I doubted you. I’m sorry for being angry at you. I’m sorry for thinking about leaving again. I’m sorry for leaving every thing you worked for. I’m sorry for not keeping your dream. I’m sorry for not supporting you. And it FUcking DOesn’t maTTer, ob das meine AUfgabe war oder nicht. Don’t tell me I’ve done the best I could. I FUCkIng DIDN’t. I didn’t save her. I didn’t hold her. I didn’t heal her heart enough. God, I hope she is not bound to me anymore. Just let her forget about me, let her forget all of this. And let me fucking get down from my fucking high horse.

 

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